The little pink soccer cleats ran up the field, then back down the field, chasing the illusive soccer ball. They were seeking to make contact with the ball, desperate for a good connecting kick, but it was not to be in that quarter of the soccer game. The little pink cleats were worn by tiny feet, connected to thin shins adorned with pink tube socks going all the way to “bee’s-knees,” as I affectionately call them.
All this pink was worn by our sweet granddaughter, Harper, in her soccer game last week. I told her Uncle Cody that there would be an edge-of-your-seat six-year-old soccer game played that night, if he wanted to add some excitement to his life. He just chuckled, knowing that there would be a lot of little feet chasing the ball around the field, trying for the kick and the goal, but many times not seeing it happen.
I found myself deep in thought while watching the game, as I often do nowadays. It seems life is like the six-year-olds’ soccer game. We chase many things in life, happiness, fortune, for some fame, our personal goals in life are as individual as our personalities and appearances. Sometimes our route to getting our goals is a long and tedious one, something that doesn’t happen quickly.
Occasionally we’ll set out with a goal in mind, and we’ll achieve what we’re striving for easily, but it seems that’s much less often than the ones we have to work harder for.
Friday, my two sisters and I will meet with our mom’s attorney, and family friend, Alison, to read Mom’s will. I’ve not done this before for an estate, but I’m predicting this is going to be a hard day for all three of us. The finality of it will drive home the reality that the hub of the family wheel is no longer with us.
I know there will be no surprises at the reading of the will. Mom was very open about those types of things, encouraging each of us to read the will and ask any questions we might have while she was still here with us. She fretted (she was an avid fretter, it’s where I get my perfected fretting skills) over everything being divided fairly. She would work on getting things set out in the will just right, and then think of something and feel the need to do it again.
After several revisions being completed, and following a lot of worrying about things being fair and everyone being “happy” when it was all said and done, I finally had a talk with Mom. I’d like to think it helped ease her mind, but knowing my mom, she came to be at peace with how things were arranged on her own terms.
I told her that anything we were gifted was just that, a gift, not deserved, and not earned, but a generous gift from her. I also told her I felt she had spent enough time worrying about things being settled perfectly in her estate, and that more than likely we would not feel “happy” at the time of our receiving these earthly possessions, because it would mean she was no longer with us. I was right.
I wondered, while watching all the little feet scurrying up and down the field during the six-year-old team’s soccer game, if Mom felt like she had reached many of her goals, including getting the will perfected to how she wanted it to be. And, I pray she knows that out of all the gifts she gave us, the one we appreciate the most was her being the mom to us that she was.
Eventually, after lots of trying, our granddaughter’s little pink cleated feet did score a goal. There was lots of cheering and hollering after this, with Harper waving her arms in excitement. I hope wherever Mom is, there are lots of “happiness goals” made, lots of cheering, and a peace in knowing that she did her best at everything, and she now deserves a rest from the fretting, just savor the goals made, Mom. We will always remain your biggest cheering section.
I’m now living my life with much different goals than I had a few months ago. I read a quote from Confucious that is so true. I don’t remember the exact wording, but it says something along the lines that the problem with time is that we think we have more of it than we do. So true.
I will be spending more time watching little pink cleats hooked to tube socks that go up to bee’s knees trying to get a soccer ball into a goal, and many other endeavors our grandkids and family members decide to pursue. And I’ll know that even though it may seem we have all the time in the world for things like this, we truly never do.